Wait Forever
by ashimaru
Summary: Takes place during the scene not shown in the manga or anime after Shiba dies and Chika spends the night in Shito's room. Cute fluff, not a lemon. ChixShi. Review please!


I honestly don't know why I let him stay. It was definitely against my better judgment. Even I recognized the strange pangs of emotion that had begun to hit me when he was near. I should really have known better than to let him stay in my room. In my _bed_. I should have known what that would do to my poor mind, not to mention my wavering self-control. I don't know what I was thinking. But I let him stay.

Maybe it was because of what had just happened with Shiba. I had lost many friends over the course of my long life, before I'd realized the benefits to simply not making any. I could barely remember what it felt like, it had been so long. So maybe it was pity. Or maybe it was because I was getting tired of just pushing him away, when he was the first person I'd ever met that I didn't _want_ to push away. It was that pathetic self-control again. I really had to work on that.

The fact of the matter, though, was that I did let him stay. I was amazed at how quickly he fell asleep. I knew that I would be up all night, unable to sleep with his irresistible presence so near at hand. Apparently my presence didn't affect him. I felt an involuntary twinge of sadness at that.

However, I soon learned that Akatsuki was one of those people that cuddles up to anything warm as he sleeps. Within minutes, he was cuddled up against my side. I froze. My first instinct was to wrap my arms around him, to pull him closer. But of course I couldn't do that. And having him cuddled up to me was a problem. If I didn't push him away, there would be questions when he awoke. Questions that I didn't want to deal with just yet.

So I gave him a push. When he didn't detach, I gave him a big shove. His only reaction was to wrap his arms around my waist. I could feel my face heating up.

"Get off," I growled, giving him another shove. His arms tightened.

"Stop it, Shit-Shito."

My eyes flew wide open. Was he...conscious? Why was he still so..._close_? I looked over at him, and was met with the force of one sleepy golden eye. Had those eyes ever had that kind of effect on me before? I couldn't remember.

"What?" he asked, blushing a little. "I just sleep better when I have something to hug."

I lay back again, resting my arms behind my head and closing my eyes. Disappointment rushed through me before I shoved it away. "Then why did you offer to sleep on the floor in Kita-san's room?"

He heaved himself up so he could look me in the eye. "I wouldn't cuddle with her."

"If you wouldn't cuddle with her, then why would you...with me?" I asked him, unable to say the word "cuddle." Not while he was still doing it.

"Just 'cause."

"That's not a reason."

"Well, since she's not dead, I would get her really cold if I tried to cuddle with her," he said after a long pause.

"Okay." I'd give him the lie. I didn't really care anyway. Of course I didn't. Why would I care?

He lay back down on the bed, and curled back up, resting his head on my chest. His eyes opened, a puzzled look lighting their shimmering depths.

"Shito, can't you just breathe like a normal person?"

"When you're not around I can."

_Shit_. What was wrong with me? Maybe I was tired, after all. Why the hell would I tell _him_ that? He _had_ to understand what it meant.

He did. He pushed himself back up, eyes wide. "What?"

"Nothing," I lied, looking away.

His hand grabbed my chin, and forced me to look at him.

"What more do you want?" I growled.

"Shito, you should be more open with your feelings."

"Shut up."

He completely ignored me. "You might just get lucky."

"What do you—"

He cut me off. By kissing me right on the lips.

When he pulled back, he was smirking.

I was shocked. More than shocked. I had completely forgotten how to breathe. My face felt like it was on fire.

"You—what do you think you're doing?"

"You mind?"

"Yes! Of course!" I said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Really."

I said nothing then, causing his smirk to widen. He lay down on top of me. "So do you mind this?" He sighed at my lack of a reply. "Say something."

"Anything I could possibly say would probably shock you so much you'd fall off, anyway."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

I didn't reply. What could I say?

There was a long pause.

"What, would it be too friendly?" he asked stubbornly.

"Yes."

"Okay."

I sighed. He didn't know what he was getting into.

"Akatsuki, you shouldn't do this. You don't know anything about me."

"I know enough. And I'll find out more, won't I?"

"You have no idea what you'll come across."

"Try me."

I sighed again. He's so naïve. He wouldn't understand.

"Fine. I didn't really die in the bus accident. I've been dead all along. My whole life. And I have no idea how long I've really lived," I said casually.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"See? We should just forget this night ever happened."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "That has to be the stupidest idea I ever heard."

"You don't know anything."

"I would know if you told me."

"No."

He was the one to sigh this time. "How about this. I'll act like I never heard any of that death stuff. You can act like I don't know. Then we'll be fine, right?"

"No. You'll just get hurt and regret ever doing that. Forget it."

"No."

"You don't know what you're getting into! Listen to me!"

"No, you listen to me! You're the one who doesn't make any sense! If you find that someone you care about likes you too, why the hell would you tell them that they don't know anything about you and to forget about them?"

My voice caught in my throat for a moment, but I knew the answer.

"To protect them!"

"I don't need protecting!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

I groaned. "Listen, I'll make you a deal. You don't mention what I just told you. Nor do you act, anywhere where there are other people, like this ever happened. Deal?"

"Fine. But only for a little while."

"Okay then." I wrapped my arms around him. "Let's get some sleep. Who knows what we'll be doing tomorrow?" He pressed his face into my shirt.

"Can we play Umo tomorrow?" he asked, his voice muffled.

"NO."

"Please?" he asked, peering up at me, pleading in the two golden orbs that held so much more power over me than he knew.

My resistance melted. "Fine. But only one game."

He didn't answer. I glanced down at him, worried, but his eyes had already closed. His breathing was slow and gentle. He was already asleep.

I lay there for a while, relishing the feel of his soft breath on my neck. Even though he was dead, there was so much life in him. Maybe he could teach me to live, too.

Who knew? Maybe someday, things really could change. And I knew that change was what I really wanted. I had existed for so long, but I had never once been alive. I suddenly realized that that didn't really matter. As long as he was at my side, I could live.

I wanted him with me. That was all that I really knew. And that was something that I could wait for. I could wait forever.


End file.
